Asumiendo que te quiero

vamos a jugar un juego

se llama “¿quién puede más?”

pierde el que llame primero.

Generalmente pierdo yo

porque se me olvidan cosas

sólo recuerdo los detalles

y tus palabras preciosas.

Otra veces pierdes tú 

porque te sientes solo

y porque prefieres creer

que en tu vida no estorbo.

A veces siento que no sabes

de qué se trata el juego

porque no nos gusta ni a ti 

ni a mí soltarnos y dejar el vuelo.

Asumiendo que te quiero 

vamos a jugar un juego

hoy vas a fingir que no existes

y yo voy a fingir que te creo.

 

When I write a poetry book
I will title it
"Poems for those who don't think
about me as much as I think about
them"
and it will be long
like a grocery list of people
with their own little poems
about their rosy cheeks
their tiny voices
their long dark hair
their hidden smiles
those secretly shed tears
the greenest eyes
the biggest hugs
and the fistfuls of anger
that I don't seem to ever forget
that become my personal ghosts
that chase me in my thoughts
and haunt my dreams
that everytime they go away
I can't help but wonder 
if I made an impression
big enough to be remembered
through days and months and years
I hope if they think
about me it's not for haunting
it's not for chasing
I hope that if I live in someone else's head
they don't feel the need to write
little silly poems
about my shaky hands
and my anxious sighs
I hope they don't remember
how tormented I can be
I hope they don't worry
like I worry about them.

 

I went back and read your stuff
the old stuff
the faraway gone stuff
I keep everything
I went back and remember the time I was
passed out in your kitchen floor
trying to sleep
dressed like Audrey Hepburn
a drunk audrey hepburn who passes out after a bottle of rum
I went back and I read your stuff
I didn't cry because prozac won't let me
but I was hurning
Taylor Swift said
you were bigger than the whole sky
You were more than just a short time
And I've got a lot to pine about
I've got a lot to live without
I'm never gonna meet
What could've been, would've been
What should've been you
What could've been, would've been you

 

All good times here
are wild and happy and free
I don't know why you're so intent on trapping
on harnessing
on making a stupid statement.

I look into your puppy dog eyes
get lost in them a little bit
try to find an innocence in there
that is long gone
I'm searching for something other than
what you are trying so hard to call love.

Love is not what you think it is
you don't know how to love and be loved
you only know taking 
and burning
and turning to ashes.

I don't let you, I'm extinguishing flames
with every word and every friendly gaze
all cold air from my lungs
a gift
undeserving
yet lovely

I'm taking what you're giving,
with a pinch of salt
maybe a tablespoon or two
because I believe you do it out of kindness
out of what you understand as kindness
after being roughed around for so long
lit up with the fuel of anger.

It's in my nature to try to heal
to try to fix
put out the imminent dangers
to put things where they belong and find them a home
but I don't like losing myself in the process.

Air deserves to blow free
to freshen living rooms and 
howl near mountaintops.

Air deserves to be sighed from lungs
to be held in with breaths of passion
to ruffle pretty heads of hair.

Air returns home
at the end of the day
to push autumn leaves down trees
to wake us up with an early morning breeze.

Air returns home.
Always home.