“You have your father's eyes” 

And his smile and your nose,

not his ears, not your voice,

I got his wits and your eyesight 

And my own damned mind.

My biggest fear is becoming like you, 

and if I believed in your god 

I bet I would pray daily 

for that not to happen.

I've choked for too long on the dirt that you made me swallow, 

But I keep trying to grow marigolds were you planted weeds.

I'm sorry to burst this bubble of coolness and calmness and all goodness, but I'm concerned.

I'm concerned about you because you've been too you-know-exactly-how some time from now and we're all trying to look away and pretend that you are ok and that you know what you're doing because yo're damn too smart for your own good and you'll sort it out at the end haha nervous laughter sipping my coffee while tapping my foot rapidly.

I'm concerned about you habits, your behavior and how much on the line you put yourself some times. I can see you over there, hiding behind your façade and it's really only fooling fools.

I certainly don't approve of many things you do and you are aware I never had but it's getting out of line. You're working around a place I cannot reach you to and I'm scared of losing you behind it. It seems as if you were building a chain link fence while I was asleep and now there's no crossing it. But I see you on the other side and you seem just as worried.

I don't ever mean to be the voice of reason and never would I consider myself to be but you remind me of certain someone that you know very well you didn't want to become.

And I'm trying to be here and wave a handkerchief and light up my lighthouse and show you that here's a shore. You just don't seem to want me there. And I wish you were to be honest. 

I also wish you would be happy doing all this that you are doing, but your eyes tell otherwise.

Your eyes look so happy

I want them to stay like this:

Open, deep, smiling.

I don't know what's given you this peace

but, God. what I'd do to avoid distubance.

Smile with your eyes, love,

show me how alive they are

just like when I fell for them.

This is the purest you,

where had you been hiding?

Don't leave me no more.

Me he estado sintiendo muy bien y cero de la verga estas últimas semanas. O sea, me enfermé y tuve fiebre y sí anduve valiendo unos días pero ¿qué es esta positividad? ¿Se me está barriendo algo importante que me tiene que agüitar, o ya nomás es un periodo de true estabilidad emocional?

De seguro son tantos memes positivos para jóvenes que buscan su bienestar emocional.

Roses are red

Valentine's is about flowers

So. Many. Flowers.

All the flowers in the world

And the florists, 

poor florists,

They have to provide a 

Competitive price

But also

What about the bees?

Está haciendo frío;

frío en el aire y

frío en mi cabeza.

No hay calor que se

dedique a entibiecer

mis pensamientos.

Hace frío en mis planes

y en mis decisiones.

Tengo frío en mis dedos

y en mis labios y en

lo que no estoy diciendo.

Hace frío en la

acumulación de hojas

en blanco en donde

no escribo poemas y 

en las hojas escritas

que no estoy leyendo.

Qué frío en mi cara,

en mi jardín,

en la calle. 

Me estoy tapando

en abrazos, en risas,

en café de Veracruz.

Me arropo en tus cariños,

al lado de la estufa, 

con los gatos.

Me paro afuera en 

el sol y estiro

los brazos, las

manos, los ojos y

el alma.

Pero hace frío.

sixteen things I learned in 2016

1. Sometimes you have to be angry even if being angry is scary.

2. When you believe your friends are mad at you and you avoid talking to them, they assume that you're the one that's mad at them.

3. You need to ask for help. Everybody else does. It's valid.

4. Stress can and will fuck you up.

5. You're capable of being alone and making it, but luckily you're not.

6. The Mountain Goats, Frank Sinatra and The Violent Femmes always help.

7. Don't pour your soul into someone in order for them not to become like you. You just feel your soul being stomped on.

8. He really does love you and he really wants to be here.

9. There's more people there for you than you like to believe. You are not forgotten. 

10. There's only one vegan fabric softener, but it's mexican, cheap and smells nice. Also mexican powdered detergent is biodegradable. 

11. You can drink straight whisky, but that still doesn't make you Frank Sinatra.

12. Quitting your job and running your own business is tough as shit but you have been making it and it feels good.

13. ALEXANDER HAMILTON.

14. Your best friends are still your best friends.

15. Being cold af is the new ability that you have to develop.

16. Every year you change so fucking much I'm kind of excited to see what new shit you pull the next one.