Day 6: A recipe.

El pastel vegano de microondas perfecto:

Ingredientes
  • 1 cucharada + 2 cucharaditas de cocoa
  • 3 cucharadas de harina
  • 1/8 cucharadita de sal
  • 2 cucharadas de azúcar
  • 1/4 cucharadita de polvo para hornear 
  • 1 sobrecito de stevia u otra cucharada de azúcar 
  • 2-3 cucharaditas de aceite de coco o vegetal
  • 3 cucharadas de la leche vegetal que prefieran, yo he probado soya y almendra
  • 1/2 cucharadita de extracto vainilla.
  • Procedimiento
    Combinar todos los ingredientes en polvo y mezclar hasta integrar perfectamente. Agregar los líquidos y mezclar. Se obtiene una mezcla algo espesa, es normal. Transferir a una taza de café que se pueda meter al microondas y hornear por 1 min o 1:30 min de acuerdo a la potencia de sus microondas. Al inflarse sobre el borde está listo. Se le puede poner algún betún de chocolate o ganache. Disfrutar solo y sin compartir con nadie, este es su postre y de nadie más, déjame en paz Héctor, tú dijiste que no querías, este es MI PASTEL QUÍTATEEEEE.

    Day 5: Magick.

    Feeling the wind against your face
    And your plants give when you sing to them
    A special crystal on your pocket
    Making the day better
    For no particular reason.
    Magick.

    Or lighting candles 
    In the middle of the night
    The peace that sage brings
    While burning around the house.
    Magick.

    I made a spell
    To aid a friend
    And he is safe and sound 
    And away as he should.
    It worked.
    I cried.
    My magick works.

    I visited the graves of the witches
    And I had the astral dreams
    And I see the light in people
    The color when I dream them.
    Magick.

    Day 4: Care for your own damn side

    Someone once told me
    The grass is much greener
    On the other side
    And yet instead of longing
    About jumping the fence 
    And settling in,
    I might just focus on
    Watering my own.
    Trespassing is illegal 

    Day 3: 1/9/17

    This is a note from my phone I wrote last year.

    I had this freakout last night at a party because this guy who I used to be friend with but who harrassed me/took advantage of when I was drunk, was there. He was standing in the middle of the way from some friends that I wanted to hang with and I HAD to walk past him in order to get to that side of the party. I really didn't want to greet him because he makes me feel really uncomfortable and vulnerable, and the time he harrassed me he made some very very nasty comments about my breasts while holding me up to him and not letting me go... i was wearing a particularly low cut shirt (I neverrrrrr do because I'm very insecure about having big boobs) with a flannel shirt on top, and I felt extra super vulnerable and almost naked, even though I now see that it wasn't as bad as I felt then. Anyway, anxiety got the best of me in that situation and I was trying hard not to be close to this person, staying close to people who I trust and all, but everyone was dancing and I really didn't feel like dancing because boobs and I tried to decline politely, at the end I felt badish and went inside to sit in a sofa and try to cool off. Someone I know came by and asked me if I was okay, I said someone being in the party was making me a little uncomfortable and they instantly knew who it was, they reassured me that I was safe and I went out again. I found Héctor (there were LOADS of people) and I sat next to him for a little, then I noticed that the guy was trying to get close to us and talk to us and I almost ran inside. Someone stopped me and handed me a stress cube thingy which I used and it didn’t make me feel any better so I drank a beer. Then two. Then three. So quickly. Then the guy came up to me and wanted to talk and I said no thanks and walked away. I couldn’t breathe a lot and I had a panic attack and I cried on the car and we came home and I watched Harry Potter until I slept. This is not fun to tell but it happened and I can’t really explain it to anyone right now.


    Day 2. On taking a class.

    Today I went for a free class of a thing that’s a mixture between pilates and ballet. I left there with my legs shaking, my calves burning and a certain knowledge that I could never afford going to this kind of places regularly.
    The one thing I notice about these clases is how easily I could do them by myself at home. All the yoga I’ve ever done I’ve done it following instructions and watching YouTube videos, yet the feeling of going to the place and being among others with the sole purpose of finishing a routine has in itself the purpose. I think it must be the peer pressure of the class encouraging you to finish something through that keeps people paying. They pay not to be guided through the movement or taught how to do the thing, but to be encouraged by strangers judging you.
    I don’t think I personally need this motivation to work out, but it’s interesting how having a very good looking woman yell “YOU CAN DO IT” at me while holding the most painful wall sit with raised calves can make me hold for 30 more seconds.
    I’m doing an experiment and taking some free classes this week and see if they actually motivate me more than the youtube people.

    Day 1. El incienso

    Estuvimos 5 días en Guadalajara, y todo el tiempo que estuvimos ahí me fui en encontrando con un incienso que me recordaba mucho a casa de mi papá y a jugar Zelda de chiquitos en el gamecube. Pasábamos por los puestitos y todos me enseñaban y ofrecían diferentes olores y marcas y varitas de colores, quesque es sándalo, o es cannabis o es loto con la magia hindú más antigua. Ninguno era el pinchi incienso. En nuestro último día, a punto de subirnos al camión para ir por las maletas a la casa, pasamos por una ventana abierta. Adentro estaba prendido el incienso, y un señor estaba abrazando a una mujer, estaban riéndose bien fuerte, escuchando jazz. Tuve que tocar la ventana, era mi última oportunidad, “señor... discúlpeme de verdad pero ¿qué incienso tiene prendido? Nadie me ha sabido decir cuál es y lo olía mucho de chiquita”, el señor me regaló la cajita y una varita. Ahora toca buscar que lo vendan acá.

    On current events.



    Siempre he sido pésima guardándome las lágrimas. Ante la menor provocación se me tensa la garganta, se me irrita la nariz y brotan de mis ojos sin que nadie pueda detenerlas.
    La semana pasada lloré mucho en el trabajo, entre clases, a ratitos para no soltarlas todas de una. No tenemos ganas de nada. Estamos esperando escuchar algo, lo que sea, una esperanza, un silbido, una señal.
    No sabemos quién te llevó y no nos interesa, para ser francos. Todos y cada uno de nosotros te necesitamos de regreso para contarte cosas, para escuchar tus canciones, pasarte memes, para ver cómo te intentas apoderar de todos los instrumentos en las bandas y cómo te emocionas en las fiestas cada que ponemos tu canción.
    Tengo mucho miedo de esta ciudad donde se llevan a los morros sin motivo. A morros buenos. La gente siempre dice que si no tienes nada que temer no te pasa nada. La gente está pero si bien pendeja. A los morros se los llevan por ser morros y a las morras se las llevan porque sí, y luego todos andan con el nudo en la garganta esperando escuchar que sus amigos están bien. Y luego todos andamos con el nudo en la garganta, llorando en el trabajo y nerviosos en la calle porque a lo mejor hoy me toca que me lleven a mí. Quién sabe.