Dear [insert name here],

I'm writing this complaint letter because we just had an exciting conversation via facebook chat where you decided to tell me that you actually knew I used to have a big crush on you. I laughed it off because, obviously, we're "friends" now (which you certainly made clear a couple of years ago when you rejected me in one of the most humiliating ways I've ever been rejected by a significant other). 

As you said in our conversation, you happen to like my "new self" more. You said that I had overcome the person that you didn't like years ago and now I've become somewhat "desirable". I tried to take this as a compliment; one coming from -what I considered at the moment- someone not-so-good communicating in the typed way. You said you "might even" want to date me now.

So here I am, sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor, trying to figure out what you meant by this. I immediately thought about the -almost- hundred books I've read since you decided not to have any kind of sentimental relationship with my "old self", the trips I've done, people I've met, experiences I had... I've quite grown; yes, you might be right! I'm a whole new person now!

And then, you type, after a minute or so: "Physically." Oh no, you just did not... You... Oh.

*Cracks knuckles* 

Let me break it down for you.

You decided to not only put aside every single thing I've achieved in a relatively short amount of time, you decided to objectify my person as something that can only be improved in a physical way. I am disgusted by the idea of a person this incredibly superficial. Not only you had not spoken directly to me in the last years but you apparently believe that I can just turn on my feelings towards you -or possibly anyone who addresses a kind word about my looks to myself- in any single moment you consider proper.

I don't think any member of my audience feels like reading our full conversation. Plus, I think I've already stated the fact that you are a filthy and dickheaded piece of shit person.

But now, I have the need to address my words to any fellow reader who has ever been into any situation of this kind -may it be an offended one or an offensor-.

Nowadays, physical change is very easy to achieve. Anyone with access to enough information, willpower or with a prosper economic intake can change their looks. I'm not only talking about weight, fellows: You can change clothes, hairstyles, skin color, facial features, expressions, erase age lines, improve body mass, tone muscles, BLAH, BLAH. May it be surgical or the oldschool sweating-your-ass-on-a-crowded-gym way

So, why judge people based on looks when you can judge them by so many other things that are actually important!?

John Green, in his famous novel, Paper Towns wrote:

“That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pretty. It's like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.”

And here I am, inside that same situation now. 

I might have lost some weight, I might have gotten rid of ugly glasses and braces and uglyduckling-ed myself out of an annoying puberty but I'm still the same person I was years ago. I still like to sing in the shower and drink coffee like crazy and am called Loretta Rivera and wear mismatched socks. 

You might have not liked me before, but I'm pretty sure that being "pretty" won't make my presence any more or less welcome in the lifes of people who have known me. 

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS LORETTA, FOR FUCKS SAKE. 

You can stare at a beautiful person; touch, squeeze, kiss, have sexual encounters with a beautiful person. That does not mean that you will enjoy the company of this beautiful person. Yes, your boyfriend is "fuckable", great, screw the shit outta him, kid, I wish you enjoy it. But when he talks...

Is he like this or like this?

You might want to consider this before ever going into any sort of relationship with a person. This person will meet your parents. This person will answer the phone at your house. This person is the person your friends are going to beg you to please, not bring to their birthday party and you will have to explain why.

And if someone wants to be in a relationship with you just because they find you goodlooking but you can tell they don't know a single thing about who you really are, maybe you should let slip in any conversation that you don't know how to properly wipe your ass and you might need some lessons. This maybe a hint for not-so-bright ones.

You're more than a number on a scale, a bunch of makeup, clothes, trends. You're a person. Cultivate yourself as one. Nourish your body, your soul. Allow yourself to feel. Don't be a superficial dickhead and DFTBA.

-LorettaRm.

PS. Sorry for the cursing and any personal offense. Excepto tú. Tú sabes quién eres. Pendejo.