I know I'm too soft and willing to fix the hurt that you carry, I know myself for being too nosy, too easily involved, too eager to make myself your answer. 

I open up my heart and you take out the blood, like a transplant, like you need it more than I do. I find myself looking back at my mistakes, and how many are tied to my softness, to letting you live in my soul forever, the gaping wound that I don't let myself heal from because if I did, where would you keep yourself? 

They wouldn't take care of you like I do.

Not without these splintered fingers, these thorned arms.

 I'm mine.

But we can say I'm yours when I'm inside your embrace, when your breath is on my neck, when you force my sight into your gorgeous eyes and smile your devilish grin.

 I'm sorry all the time, I'm ashamed of my humanity, I don't want to bother, I don't want to be a story of someone annoying that you tell to people you like more than me, I'm always sure that people don't like me, maybe they're pretending, maybe it's an inside joke, you're nice to me because it's funny, it's funny because I want to believe it, I'm sorry.

You and I are riding a car somewhere 

and you keep telling me how much you love me 

How much –this time– you're willing to love me

I can't take it anymore

I get down on the busiest street

When the traffic light turned red

and I walk around the car to get to the sidewalk 

Your door gets stuck

You look at me , expecting me to help

to open the door for you 

to pull you out with me

Light turns green

I smile at you

I wave my little hand goodbye

And let you go on

 

You taste like July
like the heat of the sun
warmth as if you were laying under it
you seem to carry it in the freckles of your back

You kiss like there's no tomorrow
like you don't know the definition
of being lukewarm,
you only know the crashing of a wave:
unstoppable, destructive, beautiful

You toss me as the ocean currents
like I'm weightless
as if your strenght came from within
from the passion that you carry
gravity, directing your every move

You touch me like I'm precious
As if you want to bury yourself under my skin
to live inside this body
yours doesn't seem to be enough if mine's around
like the ocean foam finding a way between my toes

I don't miss the ocean when you're near
you're made of moody, roaring tide

I want to swim in you

 

Miriam used to say
that I was just like Basil from Dorian Gray
and how I am always willing to give and give and give
that because I love everyone, I am incapable of loving anyone

I was just telling Jorge
of how many of my friends I end up defending when they're hated
you don't really know them
not like I know them
you don't see what I see
and I give and give and give

I paint their picture beautifully
I use my prettiest colors and I take in all the details
I like them and I want them to be liked as I do them
because they're mine to love
despite them sometimes
making me feel like it's not that big deal
holding this love of mine
right inside their clenched fists.

 

I hate how much you turn me on

What is it about you, dirty fucker,

I hear your voice and it makes me wet

As if you could touch me with it

As if the rumbling of your vocal chords 

vibrated inside me

You play me like a violin

with the dexterity of someone

who's been around a while now

And I can't help but enjoy

the idea that I'm in perfect tune for this

that my moaning in your ear

is what inspires you to keep making music

I want to shut you up with my mouth

make you feel instead of talk

come here, see what you do to me.