22.

In the middle of nowhere, there's Derry.

There's always been Derry.

This dusty, iron-hot, unpaved piece of land that has done nothing for the world but ruin its best people. Derry.

I wasn't born here. I wasn't raised here. I grew from teen to older teen here. I got fucked up by the demons in this town here. I got sore and broken. I got my scars here. I almost died here. Almost.

This town produced, made and shattered all the best people in the world. Don't ask why, nobody understands. I understand the least of all.

It also produced all the sickest bastards, all the despicable vices and every inch of pain. It was all locally grown and exported all around by the people that carried it from birth. I may carry some just by contact. It's contagious like that.

This town hurt me. This town. This fucking piece of land. I'm done being afraid of it. I'm angry. I'm pissed and raging, sick of what it has done and to whom it has done it to.

When I got beat up inside the building, when I got chased around by knives and fists, when my life was threatened at my smallest and most vulnerable, when I tried to slit my wrists open, or swallowed a box of sleeping pills, or starved myself for months... all that pain it caused me, also served to blind me of what it was doing to others.

I took it personally.

I thought it was only me.

But it wasn't.

It was everyone.

Everyone got as fucked by the place as I did.

It ruined his dad.

Her mom.

It ruined his sisters.

It hurt her self-worth and perspective.

And his pride on himself.

It pushed her far far away inside herself.

It destroyed my mom.

Today I learned another thing.

That it got her hurt. He abused her and I didn't know. Was it when I was around? Could I have done something? Was I too sunk in my own shit to see you reaching out? Derry got all my best friends.

The smallest one of all.

The tiniest and softest.

The most frightened one.

It sent one of its trash to hurt her. And he got away with it. 

I'm so so sorry.

I didn't know.

But then she got away.

And she ran.

But then he went after your little sister.

And she fought back!

So tiny and fragile. Even smaller than you.

With her big doe eyes and crooked smile. Her curls and giggles. She fought back and got beat up, but she won.

... won the battle? Won the war?

What war is this but the war against Derry.

Run away, honey.

Stay away from here.

I want to burn it down. I wish I could burn it all fucking down.

Cease existing.

Stop reminding me.

Erase all the memories from it.

Drown all the pain it brings me just to see its buildings.

Just dissolve into your own madness already.

You've done enough already.

Fucking. Derry.

It's always been Derry.